Newly arrived Private John Caesar, a convicted computer hacker forced to enlist rather than serve hard time, discovers a Club Med existence at the forgotten Army base of Ft. Bendix, complete with monogrammed bathrobes, saunas and boat races. Led by ringleader Master Sergeant Dave Hopkins, this band of misfits, including Corporal Rusty Link and Private ""Smart Eddie"" Mitterand have Army life wired and play every angle to their advantage. That is, until Pentagon brass catch wind of the less-than-regulation activities and send a by-the-book officer, Lieutenant Branford Handy, to restore military protocol.

With the impending arrival of a new commanding officer, Colonel John Henchy, Lieutenant Handy aims to swiftly clean house, ordering Master Sergeant Dave Hopkins to requality all the troops. Meanwhile, in a more serious crisis, the gang's annual Septemberfest celebration is eminent and the sausage truckers in Germany are on strike.

Dave's money-making scheme of turning white-collar civilians into weekend warriors at "Sergeant Dave's Military Fantasy Camp" hits a snag when a belt-tightening Congressman pays a surprise inspection visit to Fort Bendix. When the Congressman's teenage son joins in the fantasy and takes a tank for an unscheduled test drive, Dave, John, Lt. Handy and Rusty give chase across town.

When civil war breaks out on the Caribbean island of Maricado, the troops learn that they may actually face combat, despite John's attempts to alter Fort Bendix's status in the Pentagon's computer system. Fears are put to rest when everyone is declared unfit to fight, except Eddie who seeks comfort from Chaplain Flaherty.

Rusty falls for the daughter of the town's wealthiest family, but their first date results in a bar brawl involving half the town. Dave decides to smooth things over by holding a formal military ball, and John provides a crash course in social graces to prepare Rusty and the troops for their big night.