Ned goes to the pet store, hoping to buy an elephant, but all he can afford is a listless newt he called "Newton" who does nothing but sit in a fishbowl. The pet store owner sells him a can of Zippo For Newt, which turns Newton into a 6-foot transforming anthropomorphic newt. Ned and his new pal, Newton, trash the house by playing Tag.

Ned has a crush on the girl across the street, Linda Bliss, but can't talk to her. Newton tries to get her attention by throwing a tiny pebble against Linda's bedroom window while she's asleep, but ends up throwing a boulder, and destroys the window. Ned and Newton desperately try to replace it before Linda wakes up the next morning.

Ned's class are making small floats for the annual Friendly Day Parade, and Newton wants to help. He ends up making an enormous, barge-sized float for Ned and ruins the parade when the float causes massive property damage and sinks in the lake.

Ned's tattletale cousin Renfrew comes to visit. He destroys most of Ned's toys and repeatedly tells on Ned. Newton decides to drive Renfrew away by causing a series of ridiculous situations, which causes Renfrew to have a nervous breakdown as he tattles to Ned's parents about them.

Ned's father gives Ned a vintage "Captain Ocelot" action figure after his son takes an interest in the show. Ned's mother, however, throws it out, and Ned and Newton have to go to the Friendly Falls Dump to find it again. Afterward, they find out that the dump owner is actually the retired actor who played Captain Ocelot.