Eliot finds out that his cousin Zoe is to be married to Jeffrey, a young man who Eliot thinks is a spy. He believes he saw Jeffrey stealing the blueprint for a square pancake-making machine his father invented. Eliot - who has always been secretly in love with Zoe - tries everything possible to sabotage the wedding.

When Eliot's mother Isabelle refuses to buy him the cereal that comes with a free pair of X-ray glasses that can unmask clones, Eliot is convinced she has already been turned into one. Then his father becomes one when he takes out the rubbish. For Eliot, the solution is at the city dump, where the clones are hiding out.

Eliot's great aunt - whom he has never seen before - shows up at his house for the weekend. With her lank grey hair and warts, she looks like a real fairy-tale witch. Eliot is convinced she has come to transform his parents into poodles, and then eat him and his sister. He must get rid of Aunt Margot as quickly as possible.

Eliot watches a documentary that talks about people flushing baby crocodiles, snakes and other reptiles down the toilet and into the sewers. He is terrified because the sewer is a direct line back to his bathroom and his toilet, and so he decides to eliminate the army of monsters lurking below the city as soon as possible.

Eliot is worried. His sister Suzie has fallen in love with a young guitar player, and he is sure the guitar's diabolic melodies bewitched her. Eliot and his friends must do everything possible to stop him from performing in concert at the school talent show, and bewitching the entire city.