After failing to be selected for the Renford Comprehensive school football team, Ben, Bruno & Jason are encouraged by the injured Stewart to form their own five-a-side team to play in the Renford Sunday League. But the three aren't pleased when the remaining players turn out to be Ronnie, who's a fashion victim, and Robin, who's a girl! Although they lose badly in their first match against the much feared Renford Razors, they acquit themselves well, as they manage to score the only goal the Razors have ever conceded.

When Bruno gets bullied by the Razors for being an Italian, Bruno decides to stand up for himself against the Razors but Eddie secretly helps him out and frightens the bullies by pretending to be Bruno's uncle, a mafia boss. Bruno is surprised to find that the Razors just want to serve him, until they recognise Eddie that is.

Tricked by the Rejects into thinking that he's got a ticket for QPR, Jason talks his way into the grounds and ends up trying to score a goal on the pitch at half-time against a footballing legend.

The Rejects decide to help lovestruck Ben and his poetry get noticed by Justine. Their advice is useless, but the poetry is a big hit.

Robin causes chaos when she uses her psychology training to give the Rejects a positive mental attitude to help them win some matches. Unfortunately her only effect is to make them feel better about losing.