The Savage family discovers that yet another housekeeper has quit and, while the boys see this as their dad's opportunity to hire a cute French maid, Nick decides it's time his boys learn how to take care of themselves. Stunned, the boys decide that they need a plan to change their dad's mind.

It's progress report time at school, and while the Savage boys – with the exception of Sam – are far from straight A students, Nick can't ignore the fact that Chris is failing five classes this year. The greatest shock is that studious Sam is failing a class, and when the guys find out it's gym, he becomes the butt of everyone's humor in this jock-filled household. When Sam agrees to tutor Chris so he won't be kicked off the football team in exchange for the coach giving him a passing grade in P.E., Sam soon realizes he got the short end of the rope.

When Nick and his brother, Jimmy, are called in to work unexpectedly, Nick is forced to take the younger boys, T. J. and Kyle, with him to the fire station, which leaves Sam, Jack and Chris home alone. The boys recently found out that people give firemen in uniform free stuff as a way of showing their gratitude. When they combine this knowledge with the fact that Jimmy just dropped off a bunch of Nick's freshly cleaned uniforms from the dry cleaners, they put two and two together, which equals a heap of trouble.

Nick is forced to confront the boys when he finds a pack of cigarettes in the house, and when the guilty party reluctantly owns up to them, he calls Nick on his hypocrisy, as Nick himself smokes cigars. In an effort to convince his son to quit, Nick makes a deal with him that he finds very hard to keep.

When Jack begs his dad to get him his own car, Nick agrees to put up half the money if Jack will raise the other half and, after a series of schemes, he finally comes up with it. Jack's Uncle Jimmy takes him to get the car, but when he comes home with a motorcycle instead, Nick is none too pleased and shows the boys a "Blood on the Highway" – type safety video – which doesn't deter Jack or his brothers one bit.